eleven more days

I'm getting very scared. I'll be having my baby in as soon as 4 weeks. I'm more broke than I have ever been before, and I owe so much more money. I have almost completely wiped out my savings account trying to pay for everything that has popped up in the past month. I've shelled out over $1,000 in the past month for bills. It's not like I've been irresponsible with my money, I haven't spent any money on myself with the exception of a few pairs of underwear that cost less than $20 that I needed because almost all of my underwear is chewed up to due to an old roomate of mine, and her dog. I'm so terrified of everything that is going to be coming my way in the next few months, nothing will ever be the same. I feel incompitent and unprepared. I move into my new apartment in 11 days, and that means I'll be even more alone. I hate being alone, especially now because if anything happens noone is here to be with me through it. If I go into labor, I'm on my own. If I fall down the stairs, I'll be in the floor for only God know's how long because noone is here to find me. I feel absolutely terrible because some of my closest friends who are the only ones who have actually stuck with me through this entire pregnancy will be getting NOTHING from me on their birthdays. I wish I could do at least half as much as they have done for me in the past few months. I have no way of returning the favor though, and that really upsets me. I hate being grown up.